It has been almost 3 weeks since you were born and I can't seem to write this down so I won't forget. you are sleeping on my lap right now so I am going to try to type this down before you wake up.
It was 4 days before your due date. We had been anxiously waiting for you to arrive and no sign of you yet, we were getting anxious.
It was a Thursday morning and your Opa, Abuis and I decided to do a trip to Ikea for breakfast and some shopping. We dropped off your brothers at school, headed to Ikea, had breakfast and started our shopping. We walked all the Upper Floor, and as we were near the end of the bottom floor I started feeling very strong pressure between my legs, I started thinking to myself "wow, that is a lot of pressure" and I swear I was half way through this thought, when I suddenly felt like a big pop or snap in there, almost like a rubber band or balloon snapping inside my crutch, and immediately felt A LOT of warm liquid dripping down from between my legs and down my thigh. "Shit!" I thought to myself. It was obvious that my water had broke. I turned around and told my Dad "we need to go! something just popped in there!". My dad ran to find my mom and we started walking fast towards the exit. My first instinct was to say I needed to find a bathroom, but then I thought I shouldn`t waste my time in a bathroom and better rush home. I didn`t have any contractions, so that made me feel a little better.
I was thankful I was wearing black pants. But I couldn`t walk fast enough and there was so much water leaking. We got in the car and my Dad drove while I sat on some cleaning clothes in the car. On the way out I sent a text to Rob and he quickly replied he was on his way home. then I paged the midwife and she called back and told me to call when I got home.
When we got home I ran upstairs and got in the bath. Im not sure why I did this. I didn`t want to be dripping water everywhere but I guess I could have worn a pad. Rob got home soon and then the midwife. she checked the heart beat and my blood pressure and everything was okay. She said we had 18 hours before we had to start a dose of antibiotics (for PGS) and said I should go for a 15 min walk, pump for 15 mins and repeat to start contractions. Once she left, Rob and I went for a walk to the stables and came back but I was too tired to walk anymore. The afternoon seemed to go very quickly. My parents brought the kids from school and we were having dinner when I started feeling something like contractions. They were so mild I could barely tell if they were contractions, but they seemed to come regularly so after a couple I called the midwives. It was around 7 p.m.
The midwives came and set up, checked everything and I was back in the bath. Later in the night I got out to move around a bit, The contractions seemed to pick up from there. Rob and I made a pool and he bet baby would be born at 9 and I said 8.30. I was trying to walk and pace around but my feet hurt too much from standing, so I got back in the bath. I got on my hands and knees and kinda started bouncing on my knees. The contractions were quickly starting to get stronger. I help Rob`s hand (he was sitting outside). I remember at one point the contractions were getting so strong I started to remember the pain of birth. My body started shaking they were so painful. It was like electricity shocking my body tight into a ball. I told Rob I was very scared. He said I shouldn`t be scared, I had done that before. After that point I think I only had a handful of contractions so strong I had to moan really loud. I just remember thinking, they were sopainful, I only had to do a few more horrible ones and then it would be over. After that thought it is all just a blur. I dont remember what anyone else was saying or doing. I dont remember if I was even holding Robs hand anymore or not. I only remember my body taking over again. I didn`t have to do anything. There was only one thing to do and it was to let that baby out. I could feel her head slowly coming out and then finally the whole head. it was hard to push the rest of her body out but it was such a relief when it did. Then I remember the midwife saying she had her and she would pass her under the water beneath my leg and onto my chest. I dont remember seeing any of this until she was on my chest. I saw her eyes and her hair. Lots of dark hair, and her body covered in white vernix. Pale skin. She was crying and I kept saying "you re okay, youre okay". you were born at 9.31 p.m.
After that I went to bed and while I was being cared for, daddy was holding you skin to skin in bed. Later I was tucked in with you, and you fed while we all chatted and looked at your brothers books. They were sound asleep by then, even though they were anxious to see you. Your Abuis and Opa came upstairs to see you and they brought me apple slices and cheese and water. Your Nana was sound asleep.
They finally weighed and measured you «« 8 lbs 6 oz, just like your brother Emilio, and 52 cm, just 1 cm short of your brothers.
You were beautiful, big, and with very pink round cheeks. You were squeaky and squirmy and has so much dark hair, but white eyebrows and white little hairs all over your body and face. and your eyes were the same as your brothers.
You were so loved from the very beginning of your life. I felt so lucky that you chose us, little angel... how lucky we are all to have you.
