Today I am turning 29 weeks! As I imagine every pregnant woman at this stage feels, I am overwhelmed by how quickly time has gone by, even though every sepparate little moment of it has felt so slow.
I can definitely say at this point that this pregnancy doesn't feel nearly as "glamourous" as the first one. In terms of health, I feel great and all in all I have done great this time as well, despite feeling much more nauseous in the first trimester than I did with Paulo. Physically, I would say this pregnancy has felt very much like the first one, which is definitely a good thing, and I feel lucky that once again I haven't had to deal with any issues at all.
However, mentally and emotionally, this pregnancy has been, well, very low key.
There are of course some obvious differences such as the fact that the first baby is always such a big deal, just because it is the first one and it is such a big change in anybody's life, a surprise for everybody and other things like that.
I remember being at the ultrasound in my first pregnancy and feeling so excited to see the baby in that screen for the first time. I couldn't help to buy everything cute that came across my way and being so enthusiastic about prepping the baby's room. Besides my own personal exictement, it was as if the world around me was excited for me as well. I remember walking in the building corridors to go to work and having people look at me and smile, being congratulated by strangers in the elevator on a daily basis, people giving me their seat on the bus, and receiving so much kindness and excitement from everyone around me all the time.
This time around though, it just feels different. It is still possible that my last trimester will be different once I start showing a great deal more (being pregnant in full winter weather definitely doesn't let you show much under tons of clothes and coats). However, it seems as if everybody else knew that this is my second pregnancy as well (is it my tired face and eyes ??? :S).
On top of that we have everything we need and at this point it, we are busier than we've probably ever been, and it seems more like a pain to dig up all that baby equipment, clean it, and get it all ready.
I am sure eventually we will get more excited again. Actually, with the prospect of having a home birth this time and preparing for that, I am starting to feel those butterflies in my stomach again. I have also gotten some new and cute baby things as well, and narrowing down the list of names is all starting to feed that excitement. And wondering what this baby will look like this time, and holding a tiny little baby close again...We are definitely getting there.
One thing is for sure, listening to that baby heart beat at every doctor's visit definitely makes me feel amazing every time. To me, there is just nothing like it. I think that even if this was my tenth time having a baby, I would still experience that overwhelming feeling of having a new life growing inside and the idea of what a gift that is. There is just nothing more amazing than the power of a beating heart...wow... it takes my breath away... every time.
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