Emilio René was born on Monday, January 21st, 2013 at 8:48 p.m., weighing 3.8 kgs and measuring 52 cms.
This baby's birth story blows my mind. It is the craziest and at the same time most normal experience I have ever had in my entire life.
First I will talk about the decision to have a home birth. It is kind of difficult to explain my reasons, but in short, it all starts with the fact that I was very happy with the way Paulo's birth went at the hospital two years ago - it was all pretty much without any interventions, no epidural, natural birth, and the nurses were very respectful and supportive of our birth plan. The birth went amazingly well, and so did my recovery - Paulo was born almost at 4 a.m. and I checked out of the hospital the same day at noon. That being said, there were a few things I wasn't happy about: Rob had to leave the hospital and sleep at home all night, and didn't come back until basically the check out. I spent the entire night trying to get some sleep, but waking up to the multiple noises in the hallway, the woman I was sharing a room with and her crying baby all night; the nurses who were taking our vitals every two hours, the one who came to bathe the baby, the new one who screwed up his temp reading and got him pinched because they thought he had a fever, etc etc.
This time, I thought, I have no warranty that I will get the same treatment during birth (I could end up getting that bitchy nurse everyone else talks about), and if I could improve the experience even more by being more confortable and having more peace, quiet and intimacy during and after the birth, i'd take it. So after this big parenthesis I'll move on to the birth story.
On Monday morning, 4 days after my due date, I woke up feeling very uncomfortable and soar. I thought maybe that would be the day but I didnt give it too much thought since I didn't want to get my hopes up. Later that morning I went to the mall with my parents. My mom had been sick with pneumonia since they arrived from Mexico and this was the first day she felt well enough to go out, so we just went to do some shopping. We arrived at around 11 a.m. and we must have spent about the next three hours just walking around. I felt very tired and it was getting really difficult to move, as every time I walked my crotch hurt. I also felt lots of contractions, the kind i had been feeling for days, but they were kind of random so I decided not to pay attention.
At 2:00 p.m. we went to get the groceries before picking Paulo up. I got a phone call from Rob to check how I was doing and reminding me that he would not be home for dinner since he had a party from his department at work. I told him not to drink too much just in case because I had been feeling a bit off all day.
At about 3:30 p.m. We went home and my parents droped me off at Paulo's daycare so I could pick him up and walk home. I got Paulo, went home and popped a movie for him so we could all sit down and relax for a while, since I didn't feel like moving at all anymore.
At 4:30 p.m. I started keeping track of the time whenever I got a contraction to see if there was a pattern. I didn't tell anybody I was doing this since I still thought this could all be a false alarm. I started noticing I was having contractions exactly every 13 minutes, and then I thought this could really be happening. I told my parents and continued to keep track of the time until about 5.30 p.m. when we had dinner.
At around 7:00 p.m. The pattern was closer to about 10 to 9 minutes apart and I could definitely feel them, although I could still pretty much ignore them. I put Paulo in the bath and went in with him, and I sent a text to Rob telling him I thought he should come home and have some rest. At this point I was already discussing with my parents how they could keep Paulo distracted in the basement and the possibility of him sleeping downstairs with them, since we would probably be up all night. Rob texted back that he was on his way home.
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| Keeping track of my contractions |
Rob arrived at about 7:15 p.m., just as I was taking Paulo out of the bath and about to get him ready for bed. I gave him his bottle of milk while Rob gave the bathroom one more clean up and set-up the car seat just in case we would need it. I read Paulo a book in bed and my mom came to join us. My contractions were getting harder to ignore and pretty painful. My mom kept asking me questions in the middle of them and at one point I had to shush her, as she was really starting to annoy me.
At about 7:45 p.m. My parents took Paulo outside to the living room and Rob and I went to the bedroom to "rest". Rob was lying down but I couldn't, as I was really starting to feel the pain. I paced around the bed and kept lunging and leaning with every contraction. At this point they were about 10 to 9 minutes apart, occasionally 7 and then again 9. I called the midwifes' pager and told the midwife I was in labour. She talked to me for a while and said I still sounded a bit too happy, so we would continue to monitor. She asked me and to call them when the contractions were closer together, about 6 minutes apart.
A few minutes after hanging up my contractions started getting closer together to about 5- 3 minutes and they were getting really strong. Rob called the midwifes again and the midwife who answered (a different one this time) asked to talk to me on the phone. I had to stop talking during my contractions as they were really painful. She said she was on her way out and would be home in 20 minutes to assess the situation and see where we were at.
As soon as I hung up my contractions got crazy painful and picked up the pace A LOT. I started shaking with every one of them and told Rob I was scared. He told me it would be okay and I had been through this before. At this point my contractions started closing in to 1 minute apart and I thought this just couldn't be and they were probably going to space out gain. I asked Rob to bring me my water bottle because I was really thirsty. As soon as he left I got another really big contraction and I couldn't believe they were that close together. I thought something had to be wrong. I think it was during this contraction that I felt like it was so strong I was losing my breath. The pressure in my abdomen was incredibly strong, and at this point I felt a burst and a gush of clear, warm water started spraying down and running down my legs. I couldn't believe it -- my water had just broken!! but I felt so much relief. I started screaming at Rob a couple of times until he heard me. He came back to the room and when I told him what happened he ran to get some towels to dry the carpet. I removed my clothes (at this point I was still wearing tights, underwear and socks.
It was 8:46 p.m. and Rob called the midwife to tell her my water had just broken and she let him know she was already on her way. I thought there was no way I could endure this pain all the way until the morning and I had to get in the shower to soothe myself. As I thought this and started making my way just across the other side of the hall to the bathroom I could feel another contraction building up. I rushed into the bathtub and tried to open the water. Then I started feeling such a strong contraction it bent me to my hands and knees as a little bit of water started running down the faucet. I started getting an incredibly strong urge to push. I couldn't believe this was happening. At that point I was scared, and confused, and thought I just couldn't hold the pushing until the midwife got there. I don't know if I called Rob into the bathroom or how/when he got there, but I started grunting and told him to tell my parents to take Paulo downstairs, and that this baby was coming. Rob came back and I continued to push once more and I could definitely feel this baby was going to come out very soon. I had a thought were I remembered one of he midwifes once talking about how if they didn't exist or they where not there for some reason, women would just have babies on their own, and that's just what would happen. I panicked and grunted that this baby was coming. Rob was sitting at the edge of the bathtub saying "yes, I am right here, baby" but I looked to the side and I could just see him sitting on the edge with his calm voice. I pushed again and I felt the baby's head starting to come out. I yelled at Rob once more the baby was coming out and he had to get behind me. At that point I could tell he could not believe what I was saying to him. I reached down and I touched the baby's head. Once again I told Rob the baby was right there and he was going to have to get behing me and catch it. At that point there was a pause and he yelled "holy shit! he is right there!" I kept repeating "the baby is coming out! you have to catch it" and then Rob said "I got it! I got it! I'm right here!" and I pushed once more and I could feel the baby crowning. I remember thinking it was so painful, just like I remembered it, but I was only half way through this thought when I felt the whole head come out (relief!), then what felt like a shoulder, and then an arm. I heard a thump and I looked back and saw the baby sliding to the bathtub. I thought the baby had dropped straight to the floor but then Rob told me he had actually caught the head and torso, but when the rest of the baby came out, the bottom slipped onto the bathtub. Rob picked up the baby, who at that point started crying and with some twists and turns managed to hand me the baby to put him against my chest. I tried to pull up my shirt to breastfeed the baby. He had stopped crying and was very still just looking at me. I was sort of sitting on my legs, with the cord tangled up around my legs and I felt very unconfortable in this position, being in pain, unable to move, and sitting on the little puddle of cold water that had managed to come out of the faucet in my attempt to run the shower.
It was 8:46 p.m. and Rob called the midwife to tell her my water had just broken and she let him know she was already on her way. I thought there was no way I could endure this pain all the way until the morning and I had to get in the shower to soothe myself. As I thought this and started making my way just across the other side of the hall to the bathroom I could feel another contraction building up. I rushed into the bathtub and tried to open the water. Then I started feeling such a strong contraction it bent me to my hands and knees as a little bit of water started running down the faucet. I started getting an incredibly strong urge to push. I couldn't believe this was happening. At that point I was scared, and confused, and thought I just couldn't hold the pushing until the midwife got there. I don't know if I called Rob into the bathroom or how/when he got there, but I started grunting and told him to tell my parents to take Paulo downstairs, and that this baby was coming. Rob came back and I continued to push once more and I could definitely feel this baby was going to come out very soon. I had a thought were I remembered one of he midwifes once talking about how if they didn't exist or they where not there for some reason, women would just have babies on their own, and that's just what would happen. I panicked and grunted that this baby was coming. Rob was sitting at the edge of the bathtub saying "yes, I am right here, baby" but I looked to the side and I could just see him sitting on the edge with his calm voice. I pushed again and I felt the baby's head starting to come out. I yelled at Rob once more the baby was coming out and he had to get behind me. At that point I could tell he could not believe what I was saying to him. I reached down and I touched the baby's head. Once again I told Rob the baby was right there and he was going to have to get behing me and catch it. At that point there was a pause and he yelled "holy shit! he is right there!" I kept repeating "the baby is coming out! you have to catch it" and then Rob said "I got it! I got it! I'm right here!" and I pushed once more and I could feel the baby crowning. I remember thinking it was so painful, just like I remembered it, but I was only half way through this thought when I felt the whole head come out (relief!), then what felt like a shoulder, and then an arm. I heard a thump and I looked back and saw the baby sliding to the bathtub. I thought the baby had dropped straight to the floor but then Rob told me he had actually caught the head and torso, but when the rest of the baby came out, the bottom slipped onto the bathtub. Rob picked up the baby, who at that point started crying and with some twists and turns managed to hand me the baby to put him against my chest. I tried to pull up my shirt to breastfeed the baby. He had stopped crying and was very still just looking at me. I was sort of sitting on my legs, with the cord tangled up around my legs and I felt very unconfortable in this position, being in pain, unable to move, and sitting on the little puddle of cold water that had managed to come out of the faucet in my attempt to run the shower.
Sometime during this whole drama, Rob tried to call the midwife again. I remember him trying to fiddle with the phone and maybe the baby, or maybe there was no baby yet when he was trying to dial, I can't remember. But once the baby came out Rob called the midwife again and told her the baby was out. She started asking him questions about how much I was bleeding and gave him directions to get towels in the microwave and keep baby warm. While this happened I sat in the bathtub holding the baby and feeling really unconfortable due to the pain of giving birth, sitting in that hard bathtub in a strange position and the fact that I still had to deliver the placenta. At some point during all this madness I remember telling Rob that we didn't look at the clock to see at what time the baby was born. We looked at the bathroom clock and it was 9:05 p.m. 5 minutes later the midwife arrived.
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| Baby Emi getting examined by Helen the midwife |
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| Paulo meeting his little brother for the first time |
My parents eventually came into the room with Paulo and he got to meet his little brother for the first time. He got on the bed with us and looked at the baby with curiosity and awe, with a little smile on his face all the time. Eventually he was over it and his grandma put him to bed at about 11:00 p.m. He was so exhausted he didn't resist it much.
Eventually the midwifes left, and by 12:30 p.m. we all were a happy, healthy and complete family tucked in bed and ready to go to sleep.
It took me a couple of hours to fall asleep, and Rob and I talked about the drama of it all but at the same time, how easy everything went. We could not believe what we had just been through, but we were certainly happy it didn't happen in the car on the way to the hospital.
As far as the whole home birth experience, it all went so quickly that there wasn't really time to think about whether we "enjoyed" or "disliked" it. I can only say that even though it was not at all what I envisioned or expected (now I come to realize that the whole time I was expecting to "re-live" Paulo's birth), I love that it definitely was a very intimate experience and something that had and will continue to bring us together as a family. I was really happy to have Paulo meet his little brother so soon and that all my family had a role to play, and that we all went to sleep under the same roof that night (not to mention the rasing bread toast, fresh orange pieces, and ginger ale with orange juice that my mom brought me to bed after the baby was born).
Once again, I am more thankful than ever to have such a wonderful family, especially a husband who will be there for me in the most critical moments and who I can trust blindly. For this and of course my baby, Emilio, I am forever grateful.
As far as the whole home birth experience, it all went so quickly that there wasn't really time to think about whether we "enjoyed" or "disliked" it. I can only say that even though it was not at all what I envisioned or expected (now I come to realize that the whole time I was expecting to "re-live" Paulo's birth), I love that it definitely was a very intimate experience and something that had and will continue to bring us together as a family. I was really happy to have Paulo meet his little brother so soon and that all my family had a role to play, and that we all went to sleep under the same roof that night (not to mention the rasing bread toast, fresh orange pieces, and ginger ale with orange juice that my mom brought me to bed after the baby was born).
Once again, I am more thankful than ever to have such a wonderful family, especially a husband who will be there for me in the most critical moments and who I can trust blindly. For this and of course my baby, Emilio, I am forever grateful.
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