Paulo - 3 years

Dear Paulo,

It is so hard to believe you are a full 3 years old. It has been almost two weeks since your birthday and I haven't had the time i wanted to dedicate to you here, but i may as well get on with it because busyness seems to never go away these days...

You are without a doubt not two anymore. You are definitely a little boy now in everything you do. You are still the cutest little big headed boy. You run around looking diwn at your feet like you cant believe how fast you're going. You still love playing soccer and basketball and pretty much anything that involves a ball, and you are quite good at it.

You are now much more inquisitive and the "why"  questions go on and on. You are very sensitive, not only in that your feelings get hurt if I just raise my voice (and God forbid if you daddy gives you trouble for anything, which you are definitely NOT used to), butalso in that you can always tell if somebody ( that is me, haha) is mad, sad, frustrated or angry, and you always ask: "que paso mama?" " porque estas triste mama?".

Your English has also exploded in the last six months or so. I think your going to playschool has something to do with that, but also the fact that your Nanna now lives with us and talks to you in English all the time, and you cant get away speaking Spanish to her like you do with daddy. I have noticed lately that when you play on your own, you speak English now, which in my eyes is both bad and good. Good, because you're getting more confident in your English skills; and bad, because your English may be starting to dominate your brain, marking the beginning of a language battle.

Your sleep has come a looong way since your second birthday. When you turned two and your brother was born, I remember having a really hard time putting you to sleep if he was awake. I had to sit on the edge of your bed and you would beg me to lie down with you. It would take you so long to fall asleep without me being right there against you. Then when we first moved to Ottawa we had some really ugly battles at nap time, which were totally emotionally draining for both. Now, you cooperate very well, and after reading a couple of books together you lie down on your own and fall asleep if I stay around your room. Sometimes you even ask me to leave the room and shut the door! At night, however it always takes forever to get you to sleep, and you stall, and stall and stall, which makes it really hard on daddy. However once you are asleep you pretty much stay asleep even if we wake you to cover you up, move you or anything else. You still wake up once a night though around midnight and come into our room, where we have put a little bed and blanket next to ours, which we call " la cama de los enanitos" and you are usually pretty happy just staying there.

You are a very determined little guy. You definitely have a very defined personality now. Youare very  inquisitive, super well behaved and obedient as long as you're kept busy and have people's attention. You can be shy but when you warm up you have no problem talking to others. Yu definitely are most comfortable playing with older kids and adults. You are such a sweet little boy, so sensitive and love to cuddle and kiss. You are full of "i love you"'s and " thank you" s and " p,ease"s . you even thanked me for dinner once without anyone telling you to!! Your do battle a lot with your brother....pretty much All.the.time. Which can be very frustrating, but I haven't lost hope that you two will be the best of friends when you grow older.

Your all-time favourite  things for a while now are 1. Balloons, 2. Balls, 3. Rockets and 4. Jellyfish.

Paulo, We love you so much. You are such a huge deal to our family. Our love for you multiplies every single day. Te quiero mucho enanito precioso!!

Emilio - 10 months

Emilio - 10 months



Emi, you are 10 months now! Incredible how little you have left before your first birthday!

It has been an incredible month, filled with a little bit of everything. LOTS of teething!! There is drool everywhere, and unfortunately your sleep hasn't been great at all. That, paired with a lot of sickness being brought home by your big brother, has made nights a living hell for this mama. But now you seem to have passed both the sickness and teething phase ( for now)  and you are sleeping beautifully. I think in the last 2 nights you have only been up once and back to sleep.

Speaking of sleep. I think you are starting to need your own space, because when you wake up and touch me in your sleep you start complaining and kicking and pushing me... It will be interesting to see what our next sleeping arrangement will be, but I keep reminding myself I will not worry about that until you are at least a year old.

Another thing waiting until after a year is to see what will happen to breastfeeding. At the moment you are still nursing about 5 or 6 times during the day and a couple (?) of times at night. You are sooo interested in your brother's bottle, that it almost makes me want to pump just so I can give you your own. You are always distracted and if it is not quiet and still, it is really hard to nurse you. Sometimes I think you wouldn't care much if we dropped some sessions. But then sometimes you do enjoy the cuddles and I can tell sometimes you just need the comfort and security. But like I said, I will divert any related thoughts until after a year. Sofar I am just glad we have made it this far.

Other things you can do now:

- crawl SUPER fast

- say mama more consistently, and you are definitely immitating more sounds. I think you try to say Paulo and papa but you just say "ba!"

- climb the stairs UP and DOWN, the latter being new

- climb off the bed, feet first

- climb shelves :s

- drink from a sippy cup with help

- YOU CAN CLAP!! Which is super cute

- you dance to music and I think you try to sing along

- you can sit, with your feet tucked under your bum

- play alone for long periods

- " walk" while holding on to somebody's hands or furniture

- the cutest thing is when you crawl close to daddy or Paulo and throw yourself on the ground yelling "AAhhh!" because you want to "wrestle" hahaha.

Emilio, you are still the cutest baby and all smiles. We love you chiquitino!

My Baby Book List

What does a mother do when she needs to raise a baby in a new city, away from her mother, her family or any close friends known to her? She reads books. And that is what I did when I had Paulo and with him came all those questions that keep a mother awake at night and eat her alive during the day.

Ideally, I think I should have read these books before I had my babies. Some parents seem to have it together and know what kind of parent they will be or what kind of parenting philosophy will guide them through thick and thin. I didn't. I had no clue there were even parenting philosophies. I thought parenting was parenting and that was it. Oh boy was I ever wrong.

From the list I came up with below, one can see that I found my comfort in Attachment Parenting. These books below are not all the books I've read, but they are those that resonated with me and made a lot of sense. And through those books I sort of navigated my way to all the others. Now I find that these are sort of my rocks, my solid foundations. Have a look:

The Baby Sleep Book - Dr. William Sears - pretty much Im a fan of Dr. sears, just become Attachment Parenting resonates so much with me and who better to learn from that a man with all the professional experience, plus, lots of kids and a wonderful family to back the theory. I loved the Sleep Book though because in a world ( or society?) where there is so much pressure to let baby cary-it-out like its the only way and to become a detached parent, and a world which is filled by books written by quacks with no real research or data to back their advice, this book sounded so non-judgemental to me and at peace with my feelings as a mother and baby. Simply loved it.

The Fussy Baby Book - Dr. William Sears - similar as the above, except this one I found very useful

when I had Paulo, because he seemed to be so high needs.

The No Cry Sleep Solution, Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night - Elizabeth Pantley    - Excellent read, I think self described as a compromise between Dr. sears's " martyr" approach and something different. Not crying it out. At the time it felt like it didn't ally offer me a solution to a baby who never slept through the night, but looking back I think Pantley does offer some good, gently, baby friendly tips.

Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene - Ingrid Bauer - this book was my

BIBLE for Elimination Communication. I cant say how much I loved this book. It is written very clearly, uses examples, describes the process step by step. It is just an excellent book for people interested in EC.

The Happiest Toddler on the Block- Dr. Harvey Karp - i enjoyed this book and definitely gave me

some useful pointers and information. More than anything, i loved the leads I got for other gat books from its resources. It is also a very gently book that really urges you to be patient and understand how a toddler's mind works. It felt to me that a lot of this advice sort of comes from personality- clearly he is very good with kids and I feel like it could be hard to mimic that, but nonetheless a great resource.

Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent- Meredith F. Small - this is by far, THE BEST, AWESOMEST, MOST INTERESTING, FASCINATING book I've ever read. It is not a how-to book, and my husband even called it "obscure" and "ivory tower". And it does talk a lot about the science behind babies behaviour and development, from evolution to biology to anthropology. There is a lot of talk about primates and species and cultures around the world and how they raise their babies and why. But that's what I loved about this book. Even though it is not meant to teach parents how to parent, through scientific facts it becomes very obvious that western parents are for the most part...well... Screwing up big time. If you are considering letting your baby cry it out, feeding him on schedule, putting him to sleep alone in his own room, after reading this book you would have to be either really ignorant, really selfish, or I dont know what to still do it. And although it is all based on science, it is very easy to read and just captivating.

Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to Cosleeping - Dr. James J. McKenna is the world's most knowledgeable sleep guru. He is the head of a mother-and-baby sleep research facility in Montreal, which makes him pretty much an authority in the baby sleep department..ummm quite literally. So, if you are going to read a book about baby sleep, why not read a book that contains the actual truth about what is best for baby?? Don't read something just because it makes you feel better about using a method that makes you feel like you are doing something wrong or you are being mean to your baby. If you feel like you are doing something wrong or bad to your baby, chances are, you are. So, read this and people who work with this man. And forget what the rest of the world (including you mom!) says.

Beyond The Sling - Mayim Bialik PHD - This book just blew my mind. It is centered around Attachment Parenting and portrays what the life of one Attached Parent looks like. Now, I know Mayim has sadly gotten divorced recently, and this kind of puts a huge question mark on this book. That's not to say we should question Attachment Parenting, in my opinion. A parenting philosophy itself does not make people get divorced. And divorce issue aside, I still respect Mayim Bialik immensely for being an amazing example of somebody who "walks the talk" on all aspects of her life. Anyway, I think what she writes in this book of course, like any other book written by someone who's intimate life we don't really know, should be taken with a grain of salt. But I reiterate, in my opinion, this book is good stuff.

Baby-Led Weaning: The Essential Guide to Introducing Solid Foods - and Helping Your Baby to Grow Up a Happy and Confident Eater -  Tracey Murkett, Gill Rapley - This book is about a different feeding method for introducing your baby to solid, alternative to the typical purees that we are all used to. I am just going to say two things: First, this book makes sense because it is what many people in the world do, or used to do when we didn't have any blenders, Nestle rice cereal and baby magic bullet. Second: I tried the traditional method with my first son, and this method with my second son. My Second son at 9 months old is such an amazing independent eater it is not even funny. Having basically the same diet, it is amazing how much Emilio LOVES food with a passion, and how much he enjoys sitting down to eat. And I mean, Paulo was a great eater and still eats pretty well. But the difference is incredible in terms of what a better eater Emilio is.

 

 

And that is all sofar, I still have some great books in my future list, so I hope I will be writing about those soon!