Moving.

I haven't had time to write lately. I have been wanting to post so many things, but I just haven't had any time at all. We finally moved to Ottawa last Sunday, and as you can picture, our lives have been pretty close to a nightmare since last week. We spent every night packing until late at night, then the movers came and took everything but our bare essentials, and still we managed to travel with about 10 pieces of luggage between big suitcases, carry-ons and car seats.... Pretty crazy.

We got on our 3 hour pane ride late at night and didn't make it to the hotel until 1 a.m. Ontario time. This is two hours ahead of our usual, so the kids have kind of been struggling with the new schedule. Especially Paulo. Emilio, as usual, just goes with the flow and falls asleep when and where he can. He's pretty awesome.

Anyway, the plane ride went as well as could be expected. I think there where 2 keys to making this as stress free as possible: 1. One was to actually prepare mentally for the worse. I mean, we were, after all, travelling with an infant, a two year old, and a senior (Rob's mom). N number of things can get frustrating under these circumstances, and we just had to try our bests not to get angry or stressed, because we would only add to the situation. We just had to try and keep it together at any cost. And 2. Was to allow enough time to take our.sweet.time doing everything, from calling the cab to getting into the plane, just doing everything with way more time than necessary. Because we knew we would forget a million things, and we needed time to allow for tantrums, pit stops, snack breaks, etc. without making us late.

 

Discovering the Ottawa Public Library

As for the new house, I mentioned earlier that when we came to Ottawa the first time to look for houses, the one we had liked fell through. We didn't want to do another big trip like that again, so we ended up renting the house having only seen a tour on video. Pretty gutsy, I know. But actually, you can do that these days with all the technology there is, such as emailing videos using dropbox, using google maps ( to get an idea of where the place is relative to the rest of the city, and to actually SEE what the neighbourhood looks like), and of course e-mail to sign rental contracts tec. At some point we even almost used Skype because the landlord wanted to meet us. So yesterday we visited the new house and it looked just like it did on video. The backyard is smaller than we thought, though (it was hard to get a good view with all the snow), and we noticed all the open space around it is actually fenced off (bummer!) but I have decided not to worry about it.

Rob is going through an enormous amount of stress. We all are. But I think he bears the burden of not only taking care of us and all the physical stuff, but also the responsibility of bringing us all across the country, doing all the moving arrangements I have tried to handle these as much as I can so he doesn't have to worry about any of it), and then doing a good job at work (where he has been super busy as well). Poor guy. He's got a lot on his plate, and added to that he's having to adapt to a new city, away from his friends and most of his family. I hope we can all bounce back to our new normal soon.

 

For now, tomorrow is moving day, so although I know it will end up being a crazy busy day, I am excited and looking forward to moving into our new house, yay!!

 

 

Things he said...

I have been told by friends that it is important to record your children speaking as they grow up, because when you go back and listen to them speaking, it is amazing the memories that come back. I think I have done this once or twice with Paulo, but I haven't done that for a while and now his speech has gotten even better, and also, he is sadly interestingly starting to sound like me. So, in the interest of preserving this for posterity, here are some of the hilarious things he's said in the past month/week/days that have blown my mind:

 

• (When I was taping some boxes shut for our move): "No mama! no hagas ruido!" (No mom, don't make noise!) --- this makes me laugh because lately I am always telling him not to make noise when Emilio is sleeping, so I almost feel bad for the poor little guy.

 

• Me: "Paulo, ya terminaste de hacer pipi? (are you done going pee?)" Paulo: "No mama, claro claro claro que no!"  (No mom, of course of course of course not!) --- I honestly don't know where he picked this up, surely it was me, but I am not sure when.

 

• "Ahhhh Chihuahua..." (Ohhhhh darn...)-- he said this one when he was going pee and missed the bowl. I'm glad he didn't pick up anything worse, but still not exactly proud of myself for this one... and too bad I can't blame Rob for it either...

 

• Me: "Paulo que soñaste?" (Paulo, what did you dream of?) Paulo: "Con unos globos amarillos que tronaban y asustaban a las personas" (with yellow balloons that popped and scared people). This one is hilarious because he is OBSESSED with balloons, and for some reason he has an obsession for yellow lately. He also loves popping balloons.

 

• "Oh my God!" when falling off his bike last week. This one is thanks to the bike fails videos he's been watching on You Tube.

 

And that's all I can remember right now!

Diaper-Free Emilio

In my last post I mentioned I had started Emilio's early potty training. Also, in one of my early posts I talked about how I started Elimination Communication with Paulo and how it progressed. It was my first time with Paulo and in hindsight, I am amazed at how easy that went. Granted, there have been a few set-backs and for example Paulo has started to pee at night and during naps again, which he wasn't doing anymore at 1 year of age. I am not sure why this happened, but I figure for him to be fully potty trained except for his sleeps at 2 years of age (and even 1 year of age) it is still pretty good. Paulo was never been afraid of the toilet, never refused to go to the bathroom, I had never struggled to try to have him potty trained drastically over one weekend, or had gone through any of the horror stories that I've heard about traditional potty training. Everything had worked so nicely and seemed so natural and seamless, that I couldn't imagine doing it differently with my next baby.  I would definitely try it again the next time around.

 

So, when Emilio was born, I immediately started paying attention to his bowel movements, his signals (such as his gestures, his breathing, and cries) and his patterns when I knew he was going bathroom. Still, I wanted to wait a while before starting for several reasons. Partly because it is such a shock when you have a child, that there is a lot to adjust to before even thinking about potty training, at least for me. Then there was our trip to Mexico, which sort of made it difficult to have a routine or take the time to observe Emilio or to be patient when taking him to the bathroom. By the time we came back from our vacation, I brought out the cloth diapers and started putting everything in practice again.

 

The very first time I took Emi bathroom, I waited for him to wake up from a nap. He had nursed before the nap, so I knew he would need to go. I used an empty margarine container to put under him and held him in the squatting position with his back and head against me. And wouldn't you know it, it worked! Then I tried it again about 10-15 minutes after nursing him and it worked again. At the beginning I had several misses, mainly because once again I was second guessing my hunches about him needing to go bathroom, but once I made a conscious effort to trust my instincts (i.e. if I heard him making grunting sounds I would just go for it), we started having less misses, until we started having entire days without any poopy diapers -- I should actually specify that although Emi does pee when I take him bathroom, at this point I am focusing more on the poops than the pees. This makes the cloth diapering process so much easier and I don't have to spend the entire day in the bathroom!

 

I am so amazed at how easy it seems this time around. It has definitely become second nature to me, and again I feel like I just cannot imagine doing this any other way. I just can't imagine letting the baby deliberately poop himself when you know that is happening, and just ignoring it like it is something he has to get used to!

One thing I have often read as criticisms for EC is that people don't have the time because they work, or they think it is just something for stay at home mom's to do. Granted, I did start ECing with Paulo when I was on mat leave, but it certainly didn't take me the whole year to get started. It probably took me about a month after starting to have a solid grasp of it. Also, I went back to work part-time and we still managed to do it. I was lucky to find a day home where the caregiver was supportive in that, once Paulo was going bathroom at regular intervals and could stay dry without a safety diaper, she was willing to take him potty every hour, even if he didn't really let her know he had to go. But I still disagree in that this is something that only moms staying at home can do. Children are so smart, if moms make the effort to take them when they are around, then a child will not forget what he needs to do. I think this is why EC is so different from potty training: it just sort of naturally happens, and it is not something that is forced on the child over a limited period of time with  an outcome that has to be either a pass or a fail.

 

We will see how this keeps progressing but I'm definitely glad that everything is working so well. Emilio looks happy and I love the feeling of looking at the baby and understanding each other, and knowing that HE KNOWS we are communicating. We will see where this road takes us this time!

Emilio - 2 months

OK, so I missed the 2 month mark. Emilio is already 10 weeks old, but I meant to write this earlier when he just turned 2 months. It has been incredibly busy between coming back from our vacation and hitting the ground running in terms of our move to Ottawa -- we have sold our old car, bought a new car, done lots of packing but still have lots to do... it is no surprise that I didn't get a minute to even start writing this. But since I am already sitting in the computer might as well put the to do list in the back burner for a moment and write this.

Emi - 8 weeks

It is unbelievable to me that Emi is already 2 months old. I know it sounds cliché and everybody says the same thing, but when I say "time flies" I mean it with every cell in my body. Just a couple of days ago we went to the mountains for the Easter long weekend and I saw a mom feeding her teeny tiny baby as her toddler played in the playground . I asked her how old her little one was. She said two and a half weeks and showed me her baby. He was so incredibly small, fragile and still so wrinkly. At that point it hit me Emi is not a newborn anymore. He has gained so much weight (although we haven't been to his checkup yet, so can't say exactly how much), he seems so long and chubby. His hair has gotten longer, fuller and lighter, and his eyes are so alert, he follows everyone in the room. He even smiles and coos a lot when he is talked to as if one is having a conversation with him.

It is true I share a special connection with Paulo because he is my first son and we are now able to communicate so well. But I also share a very special connection with Emi, because he is, it seems, my last baby. It breaks my heart to say that, and to tell you the truth I still could not bring myself to give away the 0-3 month clothes Emi has outgrown. But when I look at him, I just want to stop him from growing so badly. Even though I am anxious to see him develop and become a little devil, I ache seeing him grow. I wish I could stop time and hold him and cuddle him and rock him, and watch him sleep and stare at his face and see that little teethless smile forever. There is no camera that can capture how sweet this boy is to me and how much I love him.

He is still sleeping most of the day. He usually is the first one to wake up like clockwork at 7:00 a.m. He wakes everyone up from his crib with all his cooing and fussing. Then I feed him and change him, he hangs out in bed with us for a while and after everyone is up and getting ready for breakfast he goes right back to sleep and basically sleeps for the rest of the morning, only waking up to eat. Even though everyone tells me to put him down on his crib, I usually carry him in his sling all morning -- that way I make sure he stays asleep instead of waking up the minute I walk away.

One incredible development about him is that I have already started with his early potty training through Elimination Communication, which I talk about  here. I will write a post later about how this is all progressing, but so far I am amazed at how easy this has happened for us.

At this point many people think he looks much more like me than Paulo does, and much more like me than his daddy. However, I am not so convinced. I think he definitely has his father's eyes (except for the color), ears and nose, but I think most people say he looks like me because of his skin color, which is dark like mine.

Emilio, I didn't want this important milestone to pass unnoticed. It is so busy for us that I have a hard time keeping up with writing things down, but I definitely make a point of savouring every minute of your childhood, however busy we may be. We love you so much, I am thankful every day for having you in our family.

The grass is always greener in Mexico....

It's been a long time since I last wrote, and it is mainly due to my 3- week vacation in Mexico, and two weeks of absolute madness before that, packing and taking care of a bunch of errands for our big move to Ottawa.

We flew to Mexico on a direct, 5- hour flight which is always a bit scary with a toddler and and infant. However, I am proud to say that both kids handled it like the little troopers they are. Emilio slept through the whole flight and only woke up to eat ( which is absolutely hazzle free due to breastfeeding). Paulo resisted sleeping literally until he just couldn't do it anymore. Sleeping in planes has always been a pain for him, and I don't blame him-- they are uncomfortable, tiny, noisy places, so it is always hard for him to fall asleep. This is always incredibly stressful for me, but I pretty much restrained him in a very tight hug and wispered stories in his ear and eventually he fell asleep. I was lucky to find an empty row ahead of us, so I moved there with Emilio and Paulo was able to stretch out in both seats next to daddy's.

We finally reached our destination, Puerto Vallarta, and as we got off our plane and smelled the humid, salty air, all the stress and worry in our bodies just left with the breeze...



Our little family in Puerto Vallarta

It was such an amazing vacation. To start with, I think going to the beach with a toddler just can't be beat. The fun they have is just unreal, and I found myself in a constant state of excitement for him.  Plus, as a parent, it is so easy to look after a kid in that environment. Of course the ocean can be kind of a danger, but as long as they are supervised, the can play for hours on end in the sand ( with sunscreen of course!) , they love the water, they can run and run without hurting themselves, etc. all this while you enjoy the nature, the calm and the scenery yourself...

The other highlight of the trip was experiencing Mexican culture through Paulo's eyes. People were so incredibly friendly to him all the time. It was not uncommon for strangers to stop and chat with Paulo, or for someone to literally get out of their way to come and see the baby. It is just such a child-friendly culture -- another reason why being on vacation in Mexico is so great for both child and parent. We often went to restaurants where Paulo could just run around along with other kids without us being worried that our kids would disturb other customers or that we would get kicked out. People are just so used to having kids around and tolerating them like a fact of life, especially if the kids are well behaved ( but still kids nonetheless). I can't even count the number of times somebody did something extremely kind for our family, like a random neighbour would unexpectedly invite us into their home because they got a gift for Paulo, or getting a free haircut from my dad's hairdresser just because they knew we were visiting and liked our kids, etc.

Also, having Paulo surrounded by the Spanish language was so amazing. He definitely has a stronger connection to Spanish since him and I always speak it at home and he spends the majority of his time with me. I could see how thrilled he was to understand everything around him and make himself perfectly understood. It was a matter of a couple of days before he started adding words to his vocabulary like it was his job. He totally improved his language skills even more.

Paulo against the pinata

Emilio napping on daddy's shoulder

The thing that completely blew my mind though is how attached Paulo became to everyone in the family, especially his cousins. My sister's kids are 3.5 and 1.5 years old, so Paulo falls right in between. I was honestly a bit worried about the toddlers being typical toddlers and fighting over toys and most importantly, grandparents, but shockingly, I was wrong. They immediately hit it off , hugged and held hands constantly, they followed each other all the time, asked about each other all the time, played together, bossed and followed each other around.... It was adorable to say the least. I was so incredibly happy to see this happen...

so nice to lie on the green grass

However, even though I had an amazing time, I have to say there was always some sort of nostalgia and sadness lingering in me. I always feel this way when I go back home, but this time it was a bit different. This time I felt nostalgic and sad for my son and my family. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach when I saw my nephews so grown up since the last time I saw them. I felt guilty that I am the one pulling this family apart, and taking my sons' cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles away from them... And I kept wondering what on earth am I thinking to take my sons' away from all this love. I know I have decided to live in Canada mostly for what I believe are good reasons and to give my children a good life, but sometimes it doesn't quite feel like that. I mean, isn't family supposed to be the most important thing in life? .... It is just so tough to go through these thoughts and feelings all over again every time I feel close to my family again...I know I can perfectly justify our being away, but at the moment it is just hard to say goodbye. I guess I can only hope these feelings will get better with time and that time flies before we all get to see each other again next year...

waking up by the beach