I am now on my 36th Week! wow... yesterday I went to the store and realized that the milk I bought expires on my due date! that is so bizzare, and just makes me realize how close I am to having a baby and simultaneaously having my life turned upside down. I keep focusing on the due date, but really it could be pretty much any time now, which is incredibly scary.
Of course I am anxious to meet the new baby and all that comes with that, but I just feel like there is this endless list of things to do before that happens. In case you haven't noticed, I AM PANICKING. I remember having this exact same feeling when Paulo was about to be born two years ago. I started my mat leave and I had this endless list of errands, and kept adding more and more items and falling further and further behind as days went by. Somehow, in my mind, I kind of expect life to stop so I can get ready and have my baby, and then enjoy this calm air of nothingness around me while I hold my baby for the first weeks or months. Yeah, like that will happen!
On the very contrary, I started my vacation and then mat leave last week and I see the same history repeating. Endless to do's to cross off, which not only never happens, but I keep adding more and more random things that appear out of the blue and need to be solved. It does not help that it is only 1 week before Christmas, and I am definitely not where I should be in terms of Christmas preparations at this point.
I have yet to buy a bunch of stocking stuffers for Rob and Paulo, my mother-in-law's Christmas present, and choose a turkey recipe for my first turkey EVER, which ideally I would already have so I could start shopping groceries and making things ahead. Oh, and of course on top of that preparing all the supplies I need for the home birth, digging out all the baby clothes, organizing and making space for them in Paulo's closet, wash and hang all the new clothes, set up the crib, etc etc (did I mention choosing a baby name?????). Of course none of this important stuff ever gets done because every plan gets interrupted by some last minute social engagement or other minor urgencies that come up every day, for example going to get mouse traps because we just found out we have mice in the house (did I mention I am panicking??), trying to free a bird from the fire place all morning, driving to get my husband his work stuff, which he left at home when he left in a rush.... oh, and of course, blogging (well, this may be the only enjoyable thing I have actually done for myself since I've been at home). Anyone panicking with me yet?
Anyway, I just realized I have ranted about this for almost a whole page so I better start writing something a little more positive. Actually, despite all the craziness, this Christmas has brought some magic in my life and my family's. Not only does this time of year inevitably bring me back to the memories of when Paulo was born and our first few days/ weeks/ months with him, but now it offers a whole new meaning with the new baby arriving soon. Having Paulo and now this baby makes Christmass all that important and much more of a big deal. Paulo is now old enough that he gets excited about the Christmas tree, he is curious about Nativity and likes Santa Claus. And then there is actually dedicating some time to being grateful and realizing how fortunate we are to have family and friends, health, happiness, a good life, and even more fortunate that we know to be grateful and to be able to see all the good things we have in life.
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| Is that excitement or what?? |
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| The Nativity Scene |
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| Waiting for baby! |
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